Friday, February 24, 2017

Ready to Scream!

It's been a while since I've posted. I've been awful at keeping the promise to myself to blog more. Ugh!

It's been a VERRRRY frustrating few weeks! No matter how well or how poorly I've eaten and how active or inactive I've been, the damn scale has been frozen for 5+ weeks! I'm SOOOO sick of seeing 315!! (+/- 2lbs)

"Scale is just a number."

"Celebrate the NSVs."

"Don't let it get to you."

"Think of it as practicing maintenance."

YESSS, I know these things! I preach them to myself and others alllllll the time, but it's getting to my head and messing with my mindset.

The last couple of weeks, I've felt very discouraged and defeated. I've been ready to snatch myself bald-headed! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I've tried eating a little more. I've tried eating a little less. I've worked out a little more. I've worked out a little less. All completely fruitless!

Figuring out what your body needs/wants is worse than trying to rationalize with a tantrum-throwing toddler!

I finally hit a breaking point and decided to go back to the Weight Loss Clinic. I got super lucky and got an appointment the next day.

That appointment helped me SO MUCH!

First of all, they did a body scan. In the last 90 days, my body fat has decreased almost as much as my muscle mass has increased! Seriously?! Body scans are amazing! This is a factor in the scale not moving! It's the real life anecdotal "swapping fat for muscle!"

The body scan also revealed that I'm retaining A TON of fluid -- probably another factor in the solid-state scale.

They also measured my neck and waist. My neck is down a inch and my waist is down SIX inches! Really?! I guess this confirms the value of measuring!

I also learned that it's pretty common for someone that's lost as much weight as I have (130lbs) in a relatively short period of time (11 months) to have a 6-8 week plateau. Yeah?! Annoying, but okay.

The other thing the doctor said is that it's amazing that I've made so much progress on my own, basically without help -- no aids, no surgery, no nothing -- just me.

She also said that I'm losing at a rate that's better than some people who have had surgery! WHUUUT?! For real?!

All of those things were very encouraging and good to know. It lifted my spirits and helped my mindset -- some. I felt so better for about 24 hours. But now...

I didn't weigh myself last week. I'm still debating if I'll do it this week. I know it's silly, but I'm so anxious to see some validation on the scale. I'm almost afraid that it not moving will reinforce my funky mindset. I really don't know what I'll decide Monday morning.

Quitting isn't an option -- Have we met?! -- so I guess I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and eventually the scale will move. Hopefully. I mean, I can't be 315lbs forever! Right?

These are the days I do everything I can to suck it up and remind myself of the words of an old lady who helped mold my life. Words she used whenever things were tough. Words for when things weren't going how we wanted them to. Words so important to me they're inscribed on my back -- Onward and upward!

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