Friday, September 30, 2016

New Blog Digs

I've officially finished moving all my previous blogs from Spark People to here! I'm looking forward to getting started here and meeting new people!

Please follow me! Please send me your blogs, too!

By the way, if you're looking for a WONDERFUL weight loss, healthy lifestyle online community, definitely check out It has been an amazing group of people, resources, information, etc. that has helped me start this journey to the new, healthier me!

If you're a Sparker or if you go sign up, definitely add me! Just Simply Q

Dumbells, Machines, and Weights, Oh My! (Tuesday, September 27, 2016)

Tonight is my first strength training class! I have NO idea what to expect. I'm nervous, I'm excited... yikes! Yay! I'm looking forward to this next phase and building some strength and muscle!

Reflection (NSV): Faster and Longer! (Sunday, September 25, 2016)

Today, I took a minute to look back on my progress on the treadmill.

Back in May/June, I was pushing to make it 28 minutes and was happy that I walked ~0.6 miles. I was wiped and my feet hurt when I was done.

These days, I do my 30-35 minutes on the treadmill and walk a little over a mile. And I'm not dying at the end! Haha


Frustrated and Annoyed! (Monday, September 19, 2016)

I'm SOOOOO close to hitting my first 100lbs lost milestone, but the last 10 is taking FOREVER! I know I'm trading a lot of fat for muscle these days, but these 1-2lbs loss per week is torture!

I'm finally at 93.4lbs. I REALLY want to hit 100lbs by my birthday. I've got 2.5 weeks to knock out these last 6.6lbs! I'm so ready to hit this milestone so I can start busting down the next 100lbs!

Maybe I can figure out how to sleep on the treadmill. haha

200 Days of Healthy Me! (Wednesday, September 14, 2016)

Holy bajeezus! It's been 200 Days since I committed to getting healthy! I can hardly believe so much time has passed and how much I've accomplished!

In 200 days, I have:
-- logged all my food, everyday!
-- lost 92lbs!
-- increased my fitness level significantly!
-- done a 5k walk!
-- increased my average step count by about 400%!
-- dropped two pant sizes!
-- more things I'm sure I'm forgetting!

Some days, all of this feels so surreal! I'm certain I've miscalculated my weight loss. I'm certain I've looked at clothes tags wrong. I must be looking in a distorted mirror. It doesn't feel like me. The old me NEVER would have done these things or stuck with it this long!

I'm BEYOND thrilled! I love this new me! I can hardly wait to see the me at 300 days or 400 days!

Ready or not, here I come!

Almost there! (Monday, September 05, 2016)

NSV: Get up, up off the floor! (Monday, August 29, 2016)

This seems like the silliest thing to celebrate, but I'm doing it anyway! Haha

As a very large person, the floor has been a scary place for me. I have spent the last 5+ years afraid I'd fall and wouldn't be able to get back up. Sitting on the floor was *completely* out of the question. The last time I'd even attempted, my knees screamed out in pain and I was certain my knee cap would crack.

Yesterday, I decided it was time to try again. I've been thinking about it for a few weeks, but haven't mustard the courage. Yesterday, I was going for it!

I put one knee on the floor -- slowly! -- no pain, good sign. Let go of the bed completely. Okay, we're good. Second knee went down. Hey! No pain! All right, we've got this! Sat down completely, even laid down!

It was kind of exciting... and then I decided to get up. Oh, $hit! This better not be a problem because I'm home alone and it'll be a few hours before my daughter will be home and my phone is... I don't even know.

All right, girl! You've got this! On one knee...other foot on the floor...up she goes! I felt like I should throw both hands in the air, do a quarter turn and wave to the judges! Haha

Guess who doesn't need to be afraid of the floor anymore?! These are the little pieces of life that I had resolved myself to just being gone. It feels INCREDIBLE to be getting back the little things that should be taken for granted!

 Until we meet again, floor! 😉 😍

Keeping it in Perspective (Wednesday, August 17, 2016)

I've been a bit harsh with myself in recent weeks about "only" losing a pound or two per week.

Someone on SP suggested I look up a photo of what that really represents so I did. I've also done some more thinking about it and realized that, while I'm losing fat, I'm also gaining muscle.

Given that my clothes are fitting differently and it's getting easier to move, I need to remember that when I "only" lose a pound or two, I've probably really traded fat for muscle that week. I also have to remember that I have made AMAZING progress so far! Since the beginning of the year, I've lost over 82lbs! That's no small feat!

Never giving up. Never going backwards. Always moving forward. That's what matters.

Weeks will come and go. The scale will move or it won't, but that ultimately doesn't determine the outcome. I have to keep it in perspective and remember that even a pound -- that "only" pound -- is still progress!

Disclaimer: I know 1-2lbs per week is normal, but I also know that being over 350lbs, I typically average more like 3-4lbs.

COLOR RUUNNNNNNN! (Sunday, August 14, 2016)

I did my first color run today and I survived! Haha I had to sit out for a mile of it, but I made it over 2 miles! Six months ago, I never would have made it a few blocks! These amazing ladies were my amazing partners! So happy for this accomplishment!

Don't think about it, just do it. (Tuesday, August 09, 2016)

Not at all motivated to get my steps in today. I've procrastinated for a couple hours today -- well, and I've been legit busy. It's lunch time so I'm going to just suck it up, throw some music in my ears, and not think about it, just do it!

Unlike Men, All Calories are Not Created Equal! (Monday, August 01, 2016)

Boy! Have I learned a tough lesson this past month about not all calories being created equal!

This past month has been hectic and I have been slacking about prepping and eating at home. I’ve stayed within my calorie range – even below – and kept it pretty healthy, but have been eating different things on-the-go and not eating as clean as I have been. Sandwiches, salads, teriyaki chicken (little sauce) with (too much) rice (mmmmm riiicceee)… all fairly good stuff. Not fabulous, but not terrible.

Unfortunately, I think the rice and bread a few times a week have sabotaged me! For the entire month of July, I only lost a little over 5lbs! WHAT?! That is unacceptable! I want my 20lbs neighborhood back! Haha

New month, new mission: Get back to 85+% clean instead of the ~60%. Cut the rice and bread back out and get the scale moving down faster again!

I'm coming for you, scale! 😎

Accomplishments! (Monday, July 18, 2016)

I haven't posted in a while, but I just had to... As of today, I've lost 75lbs! I can hardly believe it!

I've made faux attempts in the past and gotten results equivalent to the effort that was given -- nothing.

I'm so proud of myself for the progress I've made! No pills. No surgery. Just me! And eating good and being more active.

I still have a long road to go, but this is an awesome milestone so I had to share! 🙌

Determined, Come Hell or High Water! (Monday, June 20, 2016)

It's time to push ahead and get this activity train moving again! No matter what!

I don't care that my glands are swollen.
I don't care that it's lady time and I'm cramping.
I don't care that my head keeps hurting.
I don't care that I'm still getting dizzy.

If it takes a bottle of Advil.
If it takes a bottle of Excedrin.

So be it.

I *will* push through this crap.
I *will* get back on track.
I *will* get at least 6 dots per day this week.
 Unless I end up back under doctor's orders to chill out, I *WILL* do at least 50 minutes of treadmill this week, minimum!

I've already commissioned my daughter with holding me accountable. SP, please help hold me accountable, too!

Inspiration: Make Yourself Proud (Sunday, June 19, 2016)

I needed this today so I'm posting it in case anyone else does, too.

Go Away, Nancy! (Saturday, June 18, 2016)

I feel like such a Negative Nancy right now and I don't like it. Weeks of dealing with adjusting to new medication, an almost non-stop three week migraine, medication-induced vertigo and nausea are really taking their toll.

I've still been doing fine with food and have actually been losing plenty of weight -- 8lbs last week alone -- but my activity has taken a nosedive.

Since my blood pressure has been stable for the last two weeks (thank god!), the doctor has cleared me to do whatever activity I want, I just don't feel up to it. It's difficult to push when my head hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out. I haven't worked out since last weekend. I tried one afternoon earlier this week, but it was a calamity of errors and didn't happen. I need to just be patient with myself, give myself time, and not be so hard on myself.

I'm still eating right, I'm still making progress, I just have to keep moving forward. I'm going to at least try to get in some pool time today. If I can get some treadmill time, that'll be a bonus. My sister is coming later today so I don't want to overdo it and feel crappy while she's here.

Time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep moving.

The Struggle (Saturday, June 11, 2016)

The struggle is so real!

I had struggled to get into such a good groove of working out and this blood pressure garbage killed it. Ugh! Now, I'm struggling to get going again. The closest I've come is the pool earlier this week and putting on gym clothes a few other days.

Today is the day, though. No excuses. No bull. I'm holding myself accountable with this post! My commitment, in order, by this afternoon: - 17 - 20 minutes on the treadmill - At least 20 - 30 minutes in the pool - Hot tub relax time (Not a struggle 😉) Gotta keep it realistic.

If I don't do it, I'll post my address so you all can come kick my ass! Form a line, if you must! 😊

Wish me luck!

May 2016: May, Oh May! (Saturday, June 04, 2016)

May, oh May -- you didn't quite work out how I had hoped in the scale department, but it wasn't all bad.

I increased my exercise by two-fold and saw a dramatic decrease in my weight loss. For three weeks, the scale didn't go down and actually went up by 1lb one week. I hadn't changed anything about my food, I had only increased my exercise.

I got frustrated and played with intake volumes. After bumping to 1600-1700 calories per day, the scale finally moved down again!

The last week of the month, the craziness hit. I felt sick for days. Didn't feel well enough to exercise and hardly wanted to be out of bed. Long story short (full story in another blog), I discovered I had severely high blood pressure!

A terrible scare (blood pressure around 198/113), a night in the ER, a visit to a doctor, and a few days into June and things are -- thankfully -- settling down.

Even though I only lost 7.4lbs for the month and didn't hit my goal of 3-4% monthly loss, I still had a lot of victories this month! I started exercising more, joined the YMCA, and met with a Personal Trainer. My overall weight loss hit 49.3lbs (39.3 since March 1 + ~10 Jan/Feb loss), bringing me down over 9% from my March 1 starting weight.

I finally summoned up the courage to go to a doctor! Turns out all my essential blood levels are good. (Cholesterol test pending.) I got kudos from TWO doctors on the positive changes I've made in my lifestyle. I've reached out to the Weight Loss clinic my doctor recommended so I can get some help/advice from their expert team and nutritionist. ... I know I'm forgetting stuff.

Hopefully, I won't have to kick my scale in the teeth to keep it moving down, but I'm not above it! haha

It's coming up on my favorite time of the year -- SUMMER! Here's to a fabulous June!

Motivation: Inflate your Tire! (Saturday, June 04, 2016)

This exemplifies my philosophy of start over with the next bite, not the next day. Never stop. Never give up. Every bite matters.

Raw Eating! (Thursday, June 02, 2016)

With options like this, I may need to reevaluate my definition of clean/raw eating! 

Adventures in the Emergency Room (Wednesday, June 01, 2016)

I've been thinking for weeks that I need to go to the doctor and get a long-overdue checkup. I've made some attempts to find a doctor, but never fully followed through.

For the last five days, I have felt TERRIBLE! Nauseous, dizzy, never-ending headache that has proven to be Advil-resistent... just bad.

Yesterday, I decided that I HAD to make a doctor's appointment, period. I was suspicious my symptoms could be blood pressure related, which had me worried.

I was feeling really bad today and got a blood pressure cuff to check my pressure. Holy ba-jeezus! 198/113!! Let me tell you: I. was. SCARED!!

I called the medical advice line and they told me to go to the Emergency Room immediately. Got to the ER and they were concerned. They ran a CT scan because they were concerned that I may have bleeding in my head. They also got a chest x-ray to confirm my lungs were okay. Fortunately, they were able to bring it down.

It's now 113/63, roughly. I still feel crappy, but only because the pendulum has now swung back the other way. My body is flipping out. Now that I know I've felt so bad because my pressure was dangerously high, I'm no longer irritated with myself for not having worked out for the last few days. I felt like I was selling myself short, but I just felt so terrible! I don't even want to imagine what could have come from pushing my heart rate when my system was already so taxed! Quite grateful it played out like it did.

All of that to say this: I got THE BEST compliment from the doctor! She had asked me if I'd changed my diet recently. I told her I had changed *everything* about my diet recently -- for the better! I told her how I was using SP and eating about 85-90% clean and had lost right about 50 lbs. She was impressed!

When it came time for discharge, she said she couldn't reprimand me, as she normally would a heavy person that came in with out of control blood pressure. She said I had already made all the right changes and was doing all the right things, I just had to keep doing it until my heart and blood pressure could catch up. That felt amazing!

I've always DREADED going to the doctor because I've always heard the lectures. To finally hear that I'm doing all the right things felt wonderful! I'm going to see the new doctor tomorrow afternoon and hoping for some more positive interactions.

Now, if only my body would catch up so we can get this train a'movin full-speed ahead! Choo! Choo!

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Anxious and Excited (Tuesday, May 31, 2016)

I'm sitting here waiting for my very first EVER trainer appointment. I have NO clue what to expect. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I feel COMPLETELY out of my element. I want to run away. I want to stay put. I should have gotten drunk first! 😉😃

THEY FIT! (Friday, May 27, 2016)

I went last night and bought myself pants a size too small so I could "work towards them." I tried them on tonight to see how close I am... THEY FIT! I haven't worn a 26/28 since my daughter was in Junior High and she's almost 20! Granted, they're elastic waist, but still! *insert happy dance here* (and yes, I know doing a 'happy dance' makes me old. 😄)

How to... Get More Sleep (Thursday, May 26, 2016)

I've recently increased my water intake to 3+ liters per day in an effort to combat the fluid retention in my legs and ankles. Unfortunately, it's killing my sleep vibe, no matter how early in the day I finish it off.

I've come to the conclusion that, if I ever want decent sleep again, I'll have to do one of the following:

-- Stop drinking so much damn water
-- Start wearing diapers to bed
-- Get a waterproof mattress cover

 Decision, decisions...

All Aboard the Fat-burning Bus! (Wednesday, May 25, 2016)

Took the next step and signed up at the Y today!

I'm meeting with a personal trainer next week to develop a personal workout plan. I'm also waiting for a call from their Registered Dietician to plan a consultation! Figuring out which classes I'm interested in and gonna start going to the pool! Super excited!

Having lost nearly 50 lbs since the first of the year, it was time to raise the bar and take this party to the next level!

Hasta la vista, fat! Nice knowing ya!

No Excuses. (Tuesday, May 24, 2016)

The last thing I want to do today is go down to the gym. I have cramps. I have lady-stuff going on. I just feel -- buh!

That said, I have been preaching "No excuses" to myself for a few months, now. Yesterday, I gave in to myself and didn't go to the gym. This morning, I put my gym clothes on my bed so I'd see them as soon as I got home from work.

When I got home, I put them on. Even though I feel bad. Even though I have cramps. Even though the only thing I want to wear is my jammies. I'm holding myself accountable tonight. No excuses. I HAVE to go to the gym before I can go to bed. Period. Now that it's out there, I have to do it. No excuses.

Now and Then (Friday, May 20, 2016)

I've realized recently that my face looks much different lately. I did a comparison tonight to a photo I took late last summer. Apparently, this is what losing 45lbs does to your face! I'm blown away!

The Wind Beneath my Workout! (Thursday, May 19, 2016)

What a day! I woke up this morning to find my Week 6 blog had been featured again and the comments were pouring in! The momentum has kept up all day with TONS of comments!

I'm so fortunate to have found the amazing SP community that is so filled with kind, uplifting, inspiring words! Each comment has made my heart smile!

I'm awed at being told I'm an inspiration and motivation! All of your kindness has inspired and motivated ME!

I hit the treadmill tonight and did my first 19 minute session (23 minutes with cool down) and a total of 30 minutes with warm up and the walking back to my apartment. I made it 0.68 miles tonight! I'm so incredibly proud of myself! I've come so far!

The tops of my feet don't hurt anymore! My ankles don't hurt as bad as they used to. It's so much better than even a month ago! I thought about all of the comments and friends here on SP the entire time on the treadmill tonight. Thank you all again for being so amazing and motivating!

Week 10: What the Scale Didn't See (Tuesday, May 17, 2016)

I've read all the posts and articles about measuring success in ways other than the scale. I believed them and tried to think about those things, but they were little consolation when my number on the scale didn't move for three weeks.

Yes, my clothes were still getting looser. Yes, I was able to move more without being as winded. Yes, it was easier to exercise. Yes, I was probably trading muscle for fat, but why wasn't the blasted number changing?!

Maybe I should just go back to not exercising, I was dropping el-bees like a pound of bacon before. Maybe I'm exercising too much. Maybe I'm not exercising enough. Maybe I need to eat more. Or less. Or maybe -- just maybe -- I needed to just chill out, remember what I'd read, really -- and I mean REALLY -- take it to heart, and just keep doing what I'm doing. So, I did.

This week, the scale moved. Finally. Thankfully!

Tonight, I got my weekly update from FitBit and decided to compare it to where I was four weeks ago when the scale stopped moving. Only then did I see what the scale couldn't.

I'd increased my steps by 18%.
I'd increased my distance by more than 21%.
I'd increased my activity minutes by 96%.
I'd increased my calories burned by 12%.
I'd increased my calorie differential by more than 15%.

I won't lie, I feel better when the scale is moving, but at least I can see that the last few weeks weren't wasted or in vain. Now, let's hope that damn scale doesn't take another hiatus any time soon!

P.S. Ignore the stairs stat. It captures elevators too easily.

What Sunday mornings are made of (Sunday, May 15, 2016)

It's been challenging to keep up on my workout routine with company this week so I decided to go first thing this morning. This is also the first week I've made my 5 days goal! I've been getting 3-4 days. Reaching that goal feels great! I've also upped my treadmill time from 15 mins to 17 mins. Time to bump to 19 mins! I'm loving discovering and molding this new me! Let's just hope the scale reflects it tomorrow! *crosses fingers tightly!*

Falls & Chinese Food (Friday, May 13, 2016)

Drove over to Snoqualmie Falls today and stopped off at a local Chinese restaurant. Food was amazing! I didn't even know where to begin to log it so I just logged dinner as 1300 calories. It's gotta be close. I'm over my calories for the day, but don't even care. It was worth every bite!

Testing the Lifestyle Change (Thursday, May 12, 2016)

My niece and her friends are here visiting which has thrown my normal food routine off completely!

The first night was pizza, then yesterday was a bunch of sightseeing, ending in a visit to the local famous burger joint. I was a little nervous how this shake up in my routine would impact me, but I've stayed on track!

I didn't eat any of the pizza. I'd had my dinner before the pizza and I was able to resist. The smell was intense though, especially because it was my favorite pizza! I knew dinner last night was probably going to be greasy food so I made sure to have salad and fruit for lunch. When dinner came around, I ate my burger and gave away half my fries! And, most importantly, didn't feel deprived!

I logged everything and was actually under my calories for the day, especially with having still gone for my workout and walking more than 7k steps! I was so incredibly proud of myself!

I think this first test of my new lifestyle shows that it's really a lifestyle change and that I'm doing it! FOR REAL! I'm so proud of myself for passing this first checkpoint!

Mother's Day (Sunday, May 08, 2016)

Had an AMAZING Mother's Day! My son and his girlfriend came over. My daughter played hookey from work to be with us.

Spent the day having mimosas, great conversations, and watching the movie Sisters. Finished it off with my kids making a SPECTACULAR dinner! Korean beef wraps with jasmine rice and barley and Asian noodles! Soooo good!

Best part is I didn't go too far above my calories for the day! (~150 over)

Hope everyone had a great day either being celebrated and appreciated or celebrating and appreciating your moms!

Q + Treadmill = 4eva (Wednesday, May 04, 2016)

I never expected these words to cross my lips or fingertips, but I think I love the treadmill!

Spent 18 minutes on there tonight. Got my speed up to 1.8 (mph?) and made it .44 miles! That's almost double last night's distance in about the same amount of time! At this rate, I'll be full-on running a marathon in less than two hours by summer! Just kidding. I won't. I'd die if I ran. haha

My daughter went with me last night and again tonight. It was nice. I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow! Who am I? Haha

Officially Official (Wednesday, May 04, 2016)

It's officially official! My Color Run stuff came! Now, I just need to work on my fitness and get ready!

Lost on the Treadmill (Tuesday, May 03, 2016)

Walked on a treadmill tonight for the first time! Definitely a different experience! I started out SUPER slow because I was TERRIFIED of falling off! Thank God for those life-saving clips -- just in case. I clipped that sucker right up by my boobs, just to be safe! One wrong sneeze and it would have halted me in my tracks!

My poor FitBit thinks I was a lunatic walking in circles for 17 minutes. Haha I was disappointed because I don't think I got credit for as many steps as I should have and the distance wasn't captured properly, but HOLY SHAZAM on the cardio! I got much more cardio out of it than I get from normal walking! 17 minutes and a quarter mile later, I was sweaty and gross, but I was a lot more comfortable. I had increased the speed up to 1.4 (not even sure what that means) and loosened my white-knuckle death grip on the handles.

Ready or not, Treadmill -- I'm coming for you again tomorrow!

April 2016: April Efforts Bring May Rewards (Sunday, May 01, 2016)

April was a great month! I've definitely gotten moving more -- finally! haha -- and it feels so good!

That movement has brought challenges and rewards! I'm still having trouble with pain in the tops of my feet, primarily, but I can't expect to be hauling around a big body and not have some discomfort.

I've bought new, high-quality shoes for both work and walking, but it's still not alleviating the discomfort. I've decided to go to the local running store tomorrow after work and get an assessment. Maybe it's some arch support or something else. It also may just come down to getting more of this flab off my body! haha

I've definitely seen some reward in how far and long I can walk. It's still not a lot, but it's a HUGE difference compared to where I was just a short time ago! I'm excited to see what the next 30 days brings!

I also hit my weight loss goal for the month! I lost a total of 13.2 lbs this month, which is 3.2% of my April 1 weight. My goal is 3-4% of my monthly starting weight so it's right in that range!

I think I may have finally found the key to my best weeks. The weeks where I've eaten something every 2-3 hours -- even something small like apple slices or carrots -- I've lost significantly more than the weeks where I've only eaten meals and nothing in-between. I'm going to keep with the eating every 2-3 hours for May and see what happens.

Overall, I'm down 31.9lbs, which is 7.4% of my March 1 weight! With the estimated ~10lbs I lost between January and March, that makes 42lbs!

I love the new me! I love my new mindset! I'm incredibly excited to see what May brings!

Taking it to the Street (Friday, April 29, 2016)

The company I work for has two buildings in downtown Seattle with a block between them. Occasionally, we have to go back and forth.

I have ALWAYS dreaded a meeting in the other building and ALWAYS struggled to walk between them. I'd often had to rest at the bus stop or in the lobby of one of the buildings before I could finish getting to where I was going. NOT TODAY!

Today, I left my desk, walked over and straight to my meeting and wasn't even out of breath! When I came back, same thing!!

These are the kinds of accomplishments that motivate me more than the scale ever can!! It was so incredibly cool to realize that going between the two buildings isn't the heavy task it was even a couple months ago!

Progress feels AMAZE-BALLS!

Week 8 and Three-Quarters: Drop it like it's Hot! (Friday, April 29, 2016)

This week has COMPLETELY gotten away from me. I barely have time to recap Week 8 before Week 9 will be upon me. Soooo many things have happened!

This week, I weighed in and broke the 30lbs lost mark! I'm officially down 32 lbs! So wild! I'm on the cusp of being in the 300 club! I can almost use the scale I bought a couple months ago! So incredibly excited!

Several people are noticing the difference. I've had a difficult time... until the other day. I got out my driver's license, which was renewed in October. *jaw drop!* My face looks SO different! Crazy!

I also got my first Progress Reward! I bought myself a $50 Gift Card for Lane Bryant for when I need new clothes! I'm going to do that at every 25lb mark. Let's not forget my 70 Lifetime Miles from FitBit! That was exciting and unexpected! Now, to keep going and get the next one!

Last, but not least, I REGISTERED FOR THE COLOR RUN! I'm so excited and yet filled with so much trepidation! I still have three months so I'm just going to keep walking and keep doing what I can to get ready. I just have to approach it as I can do however much I can and, whatever that is, is better than what I could do before! I can hardly believe I even considered a 5k walk, much less registered!

I feel like a broken record, but I really can hardly believe how much things have changed -- how much I've changed -- in the last two months. My body, my fitness, and most importantly, my mindset. I literally get tears of joy when I think about how far I've come already!

Every day, I get one step -- or 4500 steps -- closer to having a better quality of life! I couldn't be more thrilled!

Setbacks and Frustrations (Friday, April 22, 2016)

The last few days have been really frustrating. I was getting in a good walking groove, feeling great, then Tuesday came. I don't know if it was because I wore different shoes or what happened, but Tuesday afternoon the muscles/tendons in the top of my left foot started being far more uncomfortable than usual. My ankles and tops of my feet are always bothersome, but not like this!

I decided to lay low Tuesday and make it a rest day since I had walked the previous four days. No big deal. By the time I got up Wednesday morning, it was worse. (Great) I went to work, but by noon, it was so uncomfortable and swelling that I went home to put it up and ice it.

Thursday morning, it wasn't any better, but I went to work and hobbled around. I actually tried not to walk as much as I could. By last night, it was more than uncomfortable -- it was painful! I remembered I had KT Tape so I looked up how to wrap it and got it wrapped up.

It's a little better this morning -- it's back to uncomfortable, rather than painful. I decided not to go to work today and to just let it rest. Hopefully, that decision will save me from the dreaded 'D' word -- doctor.

Of course, this happens the first week I do FitBit challenges! Haha My foot needs to get better so I can get back to my walks and not be at the bottom of the Workweek Hustle pile!

Until next week, Challenge Buddies! Until next week...

Is this real life? (Wednesday, April 20, 2016)

Is this real life? Did I really just get notified that I've walked the equivalent of 70 miles since I got my Fitbit 6.5 weeks ago?! SEVENTY MILES?! What is this wizardry?!

Week 7: Get to Movin'! (Monday, April 18, 2016)

Another week down! Another round of successes in the record books!

I have really struggled with getting motivated to move. A good bit of that lack of motivation has been due to the discomfort around it. I'd exercised a handful of times over the weeks, sure -- but definitely nothing to write home about.

Early in the week, I decided it was time to pay the man at the door and take this party up to the next level -- come hell or high water!

I balked the first day. Got all psyched out and then chickened out.

The next day, I was going to do it, no matter what! My new shoes had been delivered and I was walking, if it took me all night! And I did it. I went for my 15 minute walk.

And you know what?! I DIDN'T DIE! haha (Much to my sister's dismay, mind you, because she's coveting my furniture and knows she gets dibs, if I kick the bucket.)

You know what's even better?! I ended that day just shy of 5,000 steps! SAY WHAAAT?!

Doing that first walk and getting it out of the way was so empowering! So, you know what I did the next day? I walked...again! And that day, I also earned my 10 FitBit dots and I beat my 5,000 steps from the day before!

You know what I did the next day? I rested! (haha, gotcha!) I still exercised, but I decide to give my poor aching feet and legs a break!

This girl, who has had so much trouble getting motivated to move, has exercised and/or walked at least 15 minutes for six of the last nine days! Who am I?!

The icing on the cake was this morning's weigh in. I got on that scale and another 4.2 lbs -- POOF! Gone! I'm down 26.7lbs in the last seven weeks! Can you believe that?!

As excited as I am about all of this, I owe so much of it to the motivation and encouragement I get from all of you -- the SP community!

I firmly believe that I would have given up, if it weren't for all of you! The encouraging words! The messages telling me that I've motivated or inspired you brings tears to my eyes, every single time!

How can *I* be an inspiration?! I'm the chubby girl in the corner that thinks everyone's making fun of her. I'm the fat girl that feels so self-conscious that I don't want to talk to anyone.

I know I've said this on posts before, but I mean it from the depths of my being: Thank you! Thank you all! For every kind word. For every character of encouragement you type. For every emoji. For everything.

YOU make me come back every day. YOU help make me feel worthy. YOU help me know I'm not doing this alone. YOU help me believe in myself!

From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU!

You're Fricken Perfect! (Monday, April 18, 2016)

Can I just start by saying I LOVE P!nk (the singer-songwriter)? LOOOVE her! I have been a fan of hers since wayyyyy back in her Missundaztood days.

She never fails to be honest and straight. And she doesn't sugar-coat anything, ever -- love her or hate her.

I've often really connected with her music because of her no-nonsense, real girl/woman/life lyrics. Today, I almost bawled.

I got home from work and decided to do Qumba (my own version of Zumba with my music where I dance like a fool because nobody can see in my apartment), instead of going for a walk.

I popped in my headphones and hit play on Spotify. The second song was Fuckin' Perfect by P!nk. I haven't heard that song for a bit and I was in my groove... then it got to these lyrics:


Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.


BAM! Bulls-eye right to the ole core! The next two and a half minutes were spent dancing and fighting emotion.

One of my BIGGEST obstacles has been how I see myself and how I talk to myself. It's TERRIBLE! I've also really struggled with letting the voices of people from my past replay all their negative rhetoric in my head.

I have been making an honest-to-god effort not to be derogatory towards myself and to not allow those who are no longer in my life (for a damn-good reason) to have so much power over me.

This song is staying on my workout playlist as a reminder. The next time I'm bullying myself or letting those damn voices in my head bully me, I'm going to listen to this song.

For those of you that know exactly what I'm talking about, I just want to say this: Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than fucking perfect!

Earning Dots! (Friday, April 15, 2016)

My ankles are sore. My feet are sore. My legs know something happened, but you know what? I don't even care! Yesterday, I set a goal to hit as many of these dots as I could and I SMASHED it! (I usually get 3-4) I also hit my personal best of over 5500 steps! So, here's to some Advil and let's see what I can do today!

Step-by-Step! (Wednesday, April 13, 2016)

Got my new shoes today and did my first day of my 12-week walking program! Best part: I didn't die! 😁 The other best part?! I hit almost 4700 steps so far today! As the girl who was STRUGGLING to hit 1600 six weeks ago, that makes me SOOO excited!!

Week 6: Shut the Front Door! (Monday, April 11, 2016)

At the risk of being redundant: I can hardly believe I'm still here and still doing this! Wowww!

Ohhh, the changes that have happened in the last six weeks! I've learned SO much about nutrition and what I was putting in my body before. Even most of the stuff that I was eating that was healthy was in quantities that were way too large.

I'm finding that I'm becoming more and more satiated on 1200-1400 calories per day -- about 50-75% less than I was consuming before. I'm now down 22.5lbs -- more than 5% of my original weight! That alone is enough to make me shut the front door!

My Color Run is in 17 weeks so I found a 12 week walking program to start building up and getting ready for that. I'm starting this week! Walking is still pretty uncomfortable, but I'm trying to do it more. I've been making sure I get up from my desk every hour or two and take a trip around the office. I exercised in two 15 min blocks yesterday. Nothing fancy and totally low key, but it got my heart rate up and it's a start.

I still have a long road ahead of me, but I don't focus on that. I only focus on making progress today. Today's successes will turn into tomorrow's rewards; eventually, they'll snowball on each other and these days will be a distant memory. In the meantime, today was a good day. This week was a good week.

Sisters (Sunday, April 10, 2016)

My sister -- who is 14 years younger than me -- texted me earlier this week that she wanted to come over on Saturday so she could "interview me for her Psych class." Of course, I agreed.

When she got here, we sat down. She pulled out a piece of paper and was noticeably nervous. I was fairly perplexed why she was nervous. Then, she began... "Dear Q... This is not a Psych interview and please let me finish before you interrupt me..."

She proceeded to read me the most beautifully written letter. You see, growing up, we had no father, we only had a mother. A mother that was mostly absent. A mother that was emotionally disconnected. A mother that is mentally ill. A mother that was physically and emotionally abusive.

I'm the oldest of five. My siblings needed a mother so I filled that role, even though I was a child myself. I cared for them when they were sick. I wiped their tears and bandaged their 'boo-boos.' I made sure they bathed and went to school. I cooked their meals. Someone had to. I never gave it a second thought. They had a need and I filled it.

Even after I moved out when my youngest siblings were still little, I'd go over and take care of them. I even had them live with me for a period of time.

Having my now almost-30-year-old sister reading me a letter thanking me for always being there for her. For making sure her needs were met. For helping "shape her into the woman she is today" was so rewarding and uplifting. We were both misty. She ended it with a joke, of course, so we laughed. Hearing her words of how much those things meant to her was so special. Hearing 'Thank you' made me melt.

Sometimes, we never get to know how appreciated we are or how much the things we do impact others. I'm glad I got that moment with my sister. (That's me and my sister last summer.)

Motivation: You are Full of Sparkle (Saturday, April 09, 2016)

I think we all have those days where we're hard on ourselves. On those days, remember this...

Week 5: Good Choices and Color Runs (Monday, April 04, 2016)

I can hardly believe I've been doing this for five weeks! I've really started viewing food differently and really thinking about food before I eat it. I'm also glad that I'm starting to feel more satiated with less food. I still have occasional days where I'm super hungry, but they're getting better. Thankfully!

My daughter and I decided to do a Color Run in August. I'm super excited and super scared! Haha I have 18 weeks to get myself in a position to walk a 5k.

I'm so proud of myself for still making good choices five weeks later! I still have to take it one day at a time, one meal at a time, one step at a time!

Be Accountable and Face the Number (Saturday, April 02, 2016)

I have long hidden from my weight. I didn't weigh myself because I didn't want to know. I'd refuse to get on the scale at the doctor's office because I didn't want to know and I certainly didn't want anyone else to know!

When I decided to get serious, I knew I had to face the scale. I had to know the number. I was so anxiety-ridden getting on the scale that day. I was horrified at the number. I most certainly didn't want to know that myself and I couldn't let anyone else know.

 Over the past month, I've come to realize that it doesn't need to be a shameful thing. Owning my weight and being honest will help keep me accountable and start to remove this veil of denial and shame, allowing me to face it and deal with it.

Last week, I told my daughter my starting and current weight. Today, I posted it in my profile. I can no longer run from it. I can no longer hide from it. I can no longer be ashamed of it. I just have to own it and keep moving towards being healthier and making better choices and the number will take care of itself.

March 2016: Dang you, 1.3! (Friday, April 01, 2016)

Well, I didn't make it. The scale didn't reflect that last 1.3 lbs to make my 20lbs in 30 days goal.

At first, I was awash in disappointment and immediately started with the "If I had..." scenarios.

Then, I stopped myself. Why, on Earth, am I lamenting over missing the last 1.3 lbs instead of celebrating that I dropped 18.7 lbs! In 30 days, no less!

So, I put on my big girl panties, patted myself on the back, and set my new goal for the next 30 days.

Let's do this, April!

Try it and Die, Fat Girl! (Thursday, March 31, 2016)

Okay, I don't like Minions stuff, but considering that I'm three days out from my stair adventure and still stiff and sore, I DIED when I saw this! Until next time, Stairs. Until next time.

Week 4: Kicking Butt and Taking Names! (Tuesday, March 29, 2016)

Wow! I'm already to Week 4! It's gone quickly! When I decided on Day 1 that my goal was to lose 20lbs by April 1, I knew that was an aggressive goal. I didn't really expect to make it, but I was sure as heck going to try! At this week's weigh in, I'm down 18.7lbs!! WHAAAAAT? I'm actually going to reach my goal?! My final weigh in for the month is Friday morning and I fully expect to hit that 20 mark! I am BEYOND excited with my progress! I can't wait to see what April brings!

Step by Step (Monday, March 28, 2016)

When I started a month ago, I was struggling to break 1600 steps per day. I'm now averaging ~3300 per day. Today, I hit my personal best! Over 4500! And 2 miles?! Really?! It may be time to up that goal again!!

It's a Sign (Monday, March 28, 2016)

I was sitting here scrolling through Facebook, thinking of all the reasons I didn't need to go walk up and down the four flights of stairs of my apartment: I had a long day; Mother Nature's visiting; I exercised yesterday... then, I happened upon this post in my feed. It's a sign... Hopefully, this will inspire someone else also.

Second Shelf, on the Right (Sunday, March 27, 2016)

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a 'domestic' person. My daughter got me a sign for my kitchen that says, "I only have a kitchen because it came with the house." I have long-joked that the best meal I've ever made was with my phone (calling for take-out.)

My refrigerator has long been the place where good intentions and doggie bags have gone to die until they eventually meet their final resting place in the trash. In the last several weeks, that's changed. I've cleaned out the fridge, bought organizers, stock it each week with healthy foods that get eaten instead of tossed. I've prepared something in the kitchen -- besides coffee -- every day. It's crazy!

My daughter was looking for lunch meat this morning and, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to remind her to check it first and I could tell her *exactly* where it was: second shelf, on the right.

Am I really doing this?! (Saturday, March 26, 2016)

I've never really put a lot of effort into changing my food habits or doing anything about my weight. Somehow, I always thought that one day, it would just magically take care of itself or my insurance would change and I'd get to have weight-loss surgery. One way or another, it wasn't going to require effort on my part so I just had to wait until the magic day came.

Occasionally, I would realize that I needed to do something myself so I'd "commit to making a change." Those commitments rarely materialized outside my mind and, when they did, they'd rarely have a lifespan of more than 72 hours.

When I decided on February 29th that I was tired of hurting, tired of being embarrassed of myself, tired of being limited in what I can do, I didn't have a ton of faith that this time would be any different. I set a goal of losing 20lbs in the next 30 days and decided that I wasn't going to be "radical" about it. I wouldn't tell myself I "can't" have something, it would be a choice. It would be a daily decision. I would make better choices. If I had bad days, it was okay because it was still better than where I'd been.

Now, on Day 27, I'm down more than 16lbs and on track to hit my goal at my Monday weigh-in. I'm making better choices. I've only had a couple "over budget" food days, yet it was nowhere near my old intake. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. I'm proud of my progress. Twenty-seven days later, I'm literally taking it one-day-at-a-time.

Today, is going to be a good day!

Before... (Wednesday, March 23, 2016)

All right! I finally did it! I took my 'Before' picture. After all, you can't show off your progress without something showing where you came from. Haha I tried to make it look good, but I was also try to not get caught in the bathroom at work taking a full length selfie! Haha I need to hurry up and get to the 'After' photo. Haha

Captain Protein to the Rescue! (Monday, March 21, 2016)

Oh, what a difference protein powder makes! For the last ~10 days, I've been struggling with feeling less satiated. I didn't put it together that it started when I stopped doing my morning smoothies because I ran out of protein powder. I made a smoothie this morning and it's been such a better day! I'm not making that mistake again!

Me and My Impulses (Sunday, March 20, 2016)

Ohhhh, impulses! I decided that if I'm going to get excited about cooking, I should treat myself to some nice cooking utinsils. Soooo, what did I do?! Ohhh, you know, I just spent $70 on Cuisinart stainless steel tools. They're beautiful! I can't wait to toss out the old and start with the new!

Week 2: Down 12 lbs and on Cloud 9! (Monday, March 14, 2016)

It's the end of Week 2 and Oh-em-gee! I've lost another 4.5 lbs, making it just short of 12lbs total! In just two weeks! I know it's unrealistic to expect to keep this kind of momentum going, but I'm going to enjoy surfing this wave as long as I can! Now, I just need to get motivated to MOVE! (Why is that so difficult?!) This is my first week of having prepped breakfasts and lunches for the week so I'm excited to see how that goes! In all my previous attempts, this is the first time I've felt THIS motivated and THIS excited for change. Let's see what you've got, Week 3!

Inspiration! (Sunday, March 13, 2016)

I found this quote! I think I've just found my new motto!

Breakfasts and Lunches and Dinners! Oh, My! (Sunday, March 13, 2016)

Meal prepped for the first time today! I've got a week's worth of healthy lunches and breakfasts ready to grab and go in the mornings. Got some cooked chicken and salad stuff for the evenings this week! My fridge is BURSTING and it's 100% good stuff! Super excited to see how this first week goes!

Gusting Winds and Runny Noses (Sunday, March 13, 2016)

For the better part of the last ~7+ weeks, I've been sick off and on with a cold/cough/sore throat. Just as I get over it, I get slammed again. With the sickness, poor sleep, and work stress, my immune system is not at its best. It's rainy and stormy here in Seattle today and I have amazing homemade chicken noodle soup my wonderful daughter made so today is dedicated to naps and resting. Hopefully, it will help beat this crap! Time for more Investigation Discovery!

Hunger Pangs and Exercise Struggles (Saturday, March 12, 2016)

It's only 9am. I've already had breakfast, yet I'm still hungry and thinking about food constantly. I'm also still really mentally struggling to motivate myself to exercise on a regular basis. I have to figure this out so today isn't a rough day.

Wails and Scales (Friday, March 11, 2016)

Uggghhh! So incredibly frustrated! I bought myself a new, fancy scale that has all kinds of cool features because my current one isn't always consistent. Went through the scale's app set up, turned on my phone's Bluetooth, ready for my first weigh in and........ no reading. Stepped off, stepped on... nothing! I'm over its weight limit! UGH! I knew I was by a little, but I figured there would be some buffer. Guess not! New motivation: Lose the next 26 lbs so I can use my scale!

Fitbits, Tattoos, and Fat Arms (Tuesday, March 08, 2016)

I got my Fitbit Charge HR a few days ago and discovered that I either randomly die or the heart rate monitor doesn't like my wrist tattoo. I've tried several ways to wear it properly on my left wrist, but my tattoo always interferes. Unfortunately, my right arm is a little too rolley-polley to wear comfortably or sit right. In order to keep from randomly dying -- and to improve tracking -- I guess it'll ride the underside of my left wrist. Haha

Week One Review: Reaching Goals and Shedding Pounds (Tuesday, March 08, 2016)

Week One is officially in the books and what a week it's been! Overall, I've done well and I'm proud of myself! I got a Fitbit Charge HR so I can better track my activity and health. I've tracked all my food so I'm more aware of what I'm consuming. And I'm holding myself accountable! I've exceeded goals, I've fallen short of goals, but I've made progress and that's all that matters! The best part?! On my first weigh in, I've lost 7lbs! SEVEN! How amazing is that?! I can't wait for the coming weeks!

Goals, Goals, and More Goals! (Saturday, March 05, 2016)

Less than a week in and I'm already seeing progress! I've met my daily calorie goals three days in a row! I've met my water goal two days in a row! I exceeded my steps goal yesterday by over 25%! I sneaked a peek at my weigh in progress and I've lost 3lbs! I also got my Fitbit Charge HR today! It can only get better from here! *fist bump*

Day 3 -- The Pineapple Sabotage (Wednesday, March 02, 2016)

Who would have ever thought they'd be sabotaged by pineapple?! I make myself a smoothie just about every morning. This morning, I tossed in my typical frozen fruit -- it was a tropical kind of day -- so I decided to throw in a whole can of pineapple chunks, juice and all! I go on my merry way and off to work I go. I get to work and throw all of my smoothie ingredients into my tracker. It's looking good... until I add up the can of pineapple. How bad could it be? 350 calories bad, my friend! And that's the no sugar added variety! HOLY SMOKES! Let me tell you though, that was one yummy smoothie, even if it was 650+ calories! = Needless to say, no more full cans of pineapple are going in! Haha Lesson learned.

Step One... (Tuesday, March 01, 2016)

Today is the day I'm starting my journey to finally being healthy. My legs hurt. My ankles throb. My feet swell. My back aches. Something has to give. I weighed myself today for the first time in over a year. It was literally painful to read and accept that number. I never want to see that number again. At this point, I can barely walk 1650 steps a day. Tomorrow, I'll try to get 1651. It has to get better every day, right? I have to let go of all my past failures. All my past attempts. Just focus on today. Even though I only made it 1643 steps today, I feel good that I took the most important one: the first one. Bring it on, tomorrow!

The Road to Healthy Me

For the last 199 days, I've been working on being a new healthy me! There have been good day and there have been bad days, but to date, I have lost 91.4lbs!

Part of my journey to being healthy has been not allowing myself to be in denial about my weight. If I don't hide from it, I can't be in denial about it. In order to hold myself accountable, I'm open about it and tell people my number. I weigh in every Monday morning. This past Monday, I was 352.6lbs.

I unofficially started my road to healthy in late January/early February. I got serious about it on March 1 when I started weighing myself, logging my food, and counting the days. I've also been blogging on

I want to have my blogs somewhere other than just Spark People so I've decided to move them all here.

Following this post will be a catch-up of all my posts over the last 199 days.

Ready or not, here they come...